Father forgive me for I have sinned. It’s been 6 weeks and 5 days since my last confession. Bloody hell, time really does fly doesn’t it!? So what’s new with me? Well, not much really. Still battling with the same food and weight demons unfortunately. I say unfortunately because I’m genuinely bored of it now but the rollercoaster of weight gain and loss continues. When does it stop though? That’s my question! When do you get so bored of saying you want and need to lose weight and just crack on with it?! I’ve been waiting for the penny to drop but I’m about 3 years in now and it’s getting daft!
Despite the fact that I’m still only a stone down, and I say only because I lost that between October and December and since that time I haven’t moved much on the scales, I feel I have made progress in other areas. I’m no longer using my weight as an excuse to stop going places or doing things. I went shopping with a personal shopper and we picked out some bits that would see me over the summer period. None of the items I bought were black, oversized or my usual work attire (baggy cardigans I can cocoon in). It has made a massive difference to my confidence and I only wish I’d have invested sooner. I always said ‘I’m not buying anything whilst I’m this size, I’ll wait until I’ve lost weight’ but as time passed I realised that I needed to get some bits and make an effort.
It’s amazing what feeling nice in the clothes you’re wearing can do to your confidence. Bec helped me to get some bits that suited my shape and size and I actually felt nice rather than looking at myself in the mirror and criticising every lump and bump. The boost of confidence encouraged me to get back on the dating scene too and what I have concluded is that most guys don’t actually give a shit about your weight. It’s not like I’ve been trying to lose weight for anyone else but the few dates I’ve been on really hit home that if you’re smiley, chatty and confident then the size of your ass is really irrelevant to them. Fake it til’ you make it I say!
So where does that leave me? Well I still want to lose the last couple of stone and with Dubai coming up in October, I have another goal to work towards. I swear if this turns out to be another holiday where I arrive regretting not putting the effort in I’ll be pissed off. Yes I’ll enjoy it regardless but how nice would it be to get on that beach, look down and thing ‘yep, that hard work has paid off!’. Having a case of déjà vu here! I’ve noticed that I’m talking about this weight loss journey as if it’s something that is external to me and happening to me rather than in my control. I guess the rollercoaster stops when I decide it does! Perhaps that’s my way of shifting responsibility?! Time to start shifting weight Sal. Crack on with it love!