What are we waiting for?

Let me set the scene…30, cellulite which could trumph a bag of oranges and pain when lying on my side from my own fat rolls. There was no wonder I wasn’t in a rush to get out and meet anyone! Although we all know that beauty is only skin deep, there is a lot to be said for feeling comfortable in how we look and feel about ourselves. That confidence of course, is rarely determined by our size. I remember being a size 10 and still feeling rubbish, wishing I had slimmer legs and a smaller frame. I now look back on photos from my early 20’s and wish I hadn’t wasted so much time being unkind to myself. I had an amazing figure, I just couldn’t see it.

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Back when I thought I was ‘fat’!! (2010)

I’m aware that I come across as a confident person and in many respects I am but anyone who knows me well knows that I have struggled with self-confidence for a while. I can bat off a compliment quicker than I can eat a pick and mix and let me tell you, that’s pretty quick. So when I gained 3 stone, it was perhaps unsurprising that my first priority wasn’t going out and meeting someone. I just wasn’t interested! I have been single for a while now. 3 and a half years actually but it has taken me that long to realise that my weight hasn’t been holding me back, I have. That same voice inside my head telling me that I’d have a better chance of meeting someone if….

That elusive ‘if’ has been a number of things over the years. If I lost weight. If I had bigger boobs. If I had a different hair style or wore different clothes. I’m not the only one out there who has thought like this and neither is this way of thinking restricted to dating and relationships. I’ve heard so many people suggest that ‘if’ something in their lives were different, they might be able to enjoy it. I can’t help but wonder what we might be missing out on thinking like this and why we don’t realise that even when we reach that particular goal, we’ll only find something else to aim for. Why aren’t we enjoying the here and now exactly as it is?!

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My initial thinking was that I would WAIT until I reached 10 and a half stone and then perhaps look to get out on the dating scene again. What a waste of perfectly good junk in the trunk! I could be missing out on so much and I’m pretty sure I won’t be asked to step on a pair of scales by a guy before they decide to date me. That said, I was once in a relationship with someone who said he would never date a girl who was, and I quote, “in double figures”. I could have said that I wouldn’t date a guy who didn’t have ‘double figures’ in his bank account but I wasn’t as shallow.

My weight loss has certainly given me a confidence boost and whilst I’m not where I want to be yet, that doesn’t mean I have to put my life on hold until I get there. You may remember me mentioning in my post a week or so ago that I spent a bit too much time on my phone over Christmas and I’ll let you in on what I got up to when browsing one night; I applied for a new dating show on ITV! I may get picked, I may not but I think this symbolises that I’m ready to get back out there and start dating again. My weight may well be in “double figures” but I’m now looking to meet a man with something about him and the way we look really is only a small part of who we are. I’ll leave you with the email I sent and keep you posted on what, if anything, comes from it…

“Hi,

I’m Sally. I’ve recently turned 31 and I’m in need of some assistance on the dating front it would seem.

I have been single for about 3 and a half years but I’ve dated in that time. Unsuccessfully. In fact I have stories that could make a book on dating disasters. I’m known for being ‘the single one’ in my family and although it isn’t the worst title to hold, I think it does come a close second to being ‘Uncle Knobhead’.

The majority of my friends have, at one time or another, accused me of being picky but I can assure you that isn’t the case. Okay maybe a bit. My opinion is that I haven’t been picky enough in the past. I’m not sure if it’s that I attract ‘wrong uns’ or go for them but either way, I’m ready to hand things over to someone else. I thought I was off to a good start to 2016 but how mistaken I was. I was chatting to three guys; one proceeded to send me inappropriate photos on snap chat, many of which were of his third nipple, another guy failed to inform me he was married and a guy who cancelled our first date due to the weather and traffic being bad. It was 11 degrees and pretty quiet on the roads for a late December evening.

So here I am in search of help and hoping you see that I am a needy cause. Without sounding predictable and cliche, I can see the benefits of being single and don’t feel like I ‘need’ to be with someone but like most people who are in my shoes, I do feel that there is something missing from my life. I tried getting a cat but that didn’t work out well.

Hope to hear back!

Sally”

4 thoughts on “What are we waiting for?

  1. Enjoyed your post. So true about there always being given a reason for not doing something. I took up yoga 6 months ago and created a mantra that I used during my practices and when exercising. It is I love myself, I am strong, I am fit and I am in control – – of myself. Keep strong and be kind to yourself

    Like

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