I’m approaching the end of the second week of my blog now and so I thought I’d share a few reflections. First thing’s first…motivation; why the hell doesn’t it come and STAY? It has been wavering this week but I’ve just about managed to hang onto it. No thanks to Domino’s pizza might I add. They’re clearly missing me because I’ve had a few texts from them this week. It reminds me a bit of when you’re moving on from a relationship. You’re doing fine, feeling strong and positive and then boom! Up pops a text to test your strength and remind you that they are still there. It’s like they can sense you are moving on! Well Domino’s, you can stick your ‘two for Tuesday’ offer up your ass at 10 syns for ONE slice (you can only have a maximum of 15 syns a day on Slimming World).
Thursday wasn’t an easy day. By lunch I was feeling tired, fed up and in need of an early night. I talked myself out of going to running club but then had a two hour long internal monologue discussing the pros and cons of going. I decided if I stayed in I would have a Chinese and then an early night. I had even decided what I would order. Sweet and sour chicken balls, salt and pepper chips (Kate I hate you for introducing these to my life), prawn toast and curry sauce. And yes I would eat the lot and no I don’t care if that makes you raise an eyebrow. I then had to think long and hard about how I would feel after said feast and whether it would be worth it. Running came up trumps and after a cheeky little Nana nap, I got my backside there. I’m so glad I did too.
Exercise has been as inconsistent as my eating habits; on it for a few months and then off the rails the rest of the time. Balance did not appear to be an option. My running instructor, Rog, and my personal trainer, Paul, have come to know me well and they know that every time they see me it might be the last. I bought a block of sessions with Paul when I signed up to the Body Coach’s plan but sticking to the plan meant I had to give up running. Rog supported that (through gritted teeth) but I’m sure he could anticipate the end result. After all, since starting with his club, Footmark, he has seen me try every diet on offer from shakes that have made me shit myself to no carb, no food, no taste diets. I missed running terribly and went back, once again, tail between my legs.
After admitting defeat with the Body Coach’s plan, I had ten sessions left with Paul and started back with him when I started this blog. Every Friday between now and Christmas, Paul will put me through my paces. I had a session tonight and could have thrown that kettle bell at his head. No, seriously. He has me clued up though; I give up when it starts to hurt and that’s something I need to keep working on, whilst ensuring the safety of his head.
These photos, like any I see of myself lately, are really hard to look at. I just don’t recognise myself in them. I’ve read that you should post “fit photos” to motivate yourself but looking at photos of how I am now gives me motivation in abundance. I not only see someone carrying excess weight but I also see the 100’s of takeaways and chocolate bars that have got me to that weight. It doesn’t feel good. In fact, in that photo of me at the gym tonight, I also see that my thigh resembles a slab of doner meat (think big, rotating piece of meat on a stick) so if that’s not motivation to shift the chub I don’t know what is. What I’ve learnt so far? Exercise because you enjoy it and you will stick at it. I love running and Footmark epitomizes fitness through enjoyment. I also love how I feel once I’ve had a good session at the gym so it’s now about changing habits and filling my time with positive things. Not eating takeaways more often than I should and regretting it. That said, I’ve just scoffed 10 rashers of bacon (excess fat removed Slimming World friends). So another piece of advice…don’t cook food and pretend to yourself you can save it for the following day.